It’s unsettling to
watch a loved one decline physically and mentally. They’re often older
relatives who we looked up to as children, or perhaps even relied on for
emotional support. The loss of cognitive and reasoning capability can be a very
gradual process, barely noticeable at first. As the situation becomes more
pronounced, it’s important to notice the signs of dementia and increased mental
and physical incapacity, and try to assess whether or not a family requires a
live-in caregiver. People often rationalize a loved one’s forgetful behavior or
increasing tendency to become antagonistic toward others because they don’t
want to accept the truth. If your family member or friend exhibits multiple
symptoms, it’s probably time to find a full-time caregiver for them.
Looking
for signs
Many of the
indicators of mental decline involve memory loss, and consequent
physical/functional problems. Confusion and
forgetfulness become commonplace, and the individual
may begin to miss regular medical appointments, fail to pay their bills on a
timely basis, and forget to take medications or, worse, take the wrong
medicines or take them in the wrong quantities. Depression, a loss of interest
in activities they once enjoyed, increased irritability, and reduced short-term
memory may also indicate that your loved one needs someone to provide care.
A change in behavior isn’t the only way
to tell that a family member is in need of assistance. A marked change in
appearance may herald the onset of serious problems with cognitive reasoning,
dementia, memory, or depression. Rapid and excessive weight
loss
may mean that they’re having trouble cooking, purchasing food, or even eating.
A disheveled appearance and poor hygiene could indicate that there’s been a
decline in their ability to perform simple tasks, such as dressing and bathing.
Look for bruises, burns and other signs of injury resulting from self-neglect
or an inability to negotiate stairs, or cope with doors and other everyday
household objects.
Inattentiveness
to surroundings
Your loved one’s home
environment may also show signs of unusual neglect. A poorly maintained yard
and landscape may be an indicator of mental or emotional decline, particularly
if your family member has always taken pride in maintaining an attractive
exterior space. Other signs may include unaccounted-for damage to the car, such
as scratches and other body damage; soiled carpeting and other indications of
problems going to the bathroom; and lots of unopened
mail.
Often, a rundown home and home exterior will accompany and reflect the
individual’s rundown personal appearance. If your relative has declined
noticeably and requires ongoing medical treatment such as dialysis, that’s a
pretty clear indication that help is needed.
Determining
level of care need
It’s important to try to determine what
level
of personal care is called for; however, this can be
hard for someone who has a strong emotional attachment to the individual in
question. Under such circumstances, it may be advisable to call in an aging
in place specialist, a trained professional who can assess
and weigh your family member’s need for assistance against his or her ability
to function safely at home. A specialist can also recommend physical changes to
the home environment so that it’s safer and easier to negotiate. A physical
therapist may be able to help with special exercises that can enhance
flexibility and improve mobility.
Coming to the
realization that someone you love and have known all your life is no longer
able to live without daily care is a wrenching experience. It’s not unusual to
feel guilty for having proposed something that your relative may be completely
against. Remember that it’s in their best interest to make sure they’re provided
for. In that sense, arranging for a caregiver is an act of love.
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